Style

What is your opinion about the style of the following extracts? Explain.

Exercise 1

I consider myself an emphatic individual; somebody with the required social skills to maintain personal contacts.

The style of this letter is not quite convincing and not self-assured enough. The wording causes doubts about the truthfulness of the assertions: "the required social skills", "maintain personal contacts".

The perspective of this letter is not quite what it should be either. Always use an interactional perspective and use positive language.

Maintaining contacts with the different stakeholders is one of the most appealing aspects of this job for me. Indeed, I am exceptionally emphatic and possess excellent social skills.

Exercise 2

During my education I participated in a lot of group assignments, so I do not have problems working in teams and reaching compromises.

This quote is too negative (e.g. "I do not have problems with?") and too passive ("I participated in a lot of group assignments"). As a whole, it does not sound convincing.

Partly this has to do with the argumentation: participating in group work does not imply being good at it.

A possible positive version of this extract might be:

During my education I have always been an enthusiastic and active participant of team work. By being actively involved in numerous group assignments, I have noticed it suits me well.

Exercise 3

Even though the course was quite theoretical, it has given me some valuable skills.

Again, the style of this letter is rather negative. It gives the impression that you undervalue your own degree.

The wording is not concrete enough: name the skills you have acquired and how you have acquired them.